Archives For Paranoia

Attempt at Book

May 7, 2017 — Leave a comment

I have written 70,000 words about my experience as a kid in Scotland being brought up by a fairly wealthy professional musician.

Both parents were alcoholics but I try to focus on the bullying at school I could not contend with because my parents were always in a state of intoxication. i.e. Steaming drunk as they say in Glasgow.

It’s my first attempt and I put it up on Kindle Unlimited which means you don’t have to pay for it. Or it’s $2.99 from Kindle. Well, I am Scottish.

The writing is either awful or not bad or pretty good but if some of you guys could give me feedback I would be so happy.

It was more a cathartic experience than anything but it really is a weird and painful journey. I hope people identify with some of what I’ve attempted to write. Love you all.

images-1

How much more can I take

From the weak, petty and jealous

Propping up their frail egos

By draining me

Of my peace

Of mind?

 

How will this end?

 

Their ego and character will sit unsteadily

On a dry faltering castle of sand

As my mind

Will become even more focused

And rid of the trivial,

Glowing like real solid gold

 

As the froth from the sliding ripples

Crawls

Towards an already

Shaky fort.

 

And the happiness

Drained from me

 

Was not enough

To save the castle

From crumbling

Back to the sea.

 

 

Doppelgänger

February 10, 2017 — Leave a comment

images-2

Annoying neighbors, very intrusive,

Pry into my thinking process

(Whispers and rumors)

Because I stand alone.

 

I am not moved by windy whims,

Or current trends,

Or little lies

Or envy.

And don’t care if Jack

Bought a new lawn mower.

Or slept with one of his students.

 

I was born alone, 

Solitaire from dawn to dusk

But.

 

I do admit,

 

Any time the antagonism becomes

Overwhelmingly intense,

(Fortified by not knowing what I’ve done)

I step aside,

And conjure up a doppelgänger 

And hand it over.

 

I give him the racing brain,

And resentment,

The swirling fury

And anything else

I don’t need,

To get through the day,

And bid him farewell.

 

Though I must warn you, 

Bumping into this other personae

Would not be much fun for anyone.

 

 

 

Image – SPIE Digital Library

And they come to tea
Uninvited
Fondling my fragile china cups
Tedious tapping of a tea spoon
On a saucer.

Continue Reading...

A split second moment
That meant nothing to anyone
But me

Continue Reading...