Archives For mind

Purposeless

February 27, 2017 — Leave a comment

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I woke up tired today.

Hot sweet

Expressos

In tiny white cups,

Stirred me a little.

 

But  lethargy,

And the heat,

And the crushing  humidity

 

Made me anxious,

Gave me palpitations,

Made me light headed

And confused.

 

I had no plans today

So I sat at a pavement café

Sipping expressos,

Staring at people.

 

And when the dehydration

Brought on

Panic attacks

 

I was no longer tired,

And even though

I had absolutely

Nothing to do,

 

I was terrified

And saw quick stars

And white lines

When I closed my eyes.

 

And I just cringed

At the thought

Of the nightmares

Just

Waiting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image from medical daily.com

 

 

 

 

Rhetorical

February 20, 2017 — Leave a comment

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I can’t shake off this furious anxiety

That thwarts my breathing, to

Shallow repetitive beats,

Obscuring

My capacity

For normal thoughts,

 

And when I wondered why those

Intermittent perturbances

Should even be?

The question

Answered itself.

 

 

Image from The Odyssey Online

And they come to tea
Uninvited
Fondling my fragile china cups
Tedious tapping of a tea spoon
On a saucer.

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A split second moment
That meant nothing to anyone
But me

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Fool Moon

January 12, 2017 — 4 Comments

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A fool

With an iPhone,

Is delusional

If he imagines,

A snap of the moon with a minuscule shutter,

Will capture the enormity of this

Striking ornament.

It won’t, of course,

But it lets God know

I care.

And if I hadn’t seen her glow

We’d never have existed.

 

Stung

January 9, 2017 — Leave a comment

A random muscly guy turned,

Lit a little by the beer and  disco lights,

Asked me, What happened to your face?

Teen boys in stained white suits

Laughed

Hard faced girls

Giggled into cupped hands.

 

Not the first time

Someone had mocked me.

Had stolen my peace of mind

Thriving on a hateful slur.

 

That evening soaking up scotch

I searched for a little  self love.

Any time it appeared

It was stung by the slur

And  died.

 

When i woke up

In the morning

They had left me,

The odd number

In the dead disco

Alone with my blackout

In a tight corner.

 

 

 

Self Esteem

October 9, 2015 — Leave a comment